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Developing Development

Oct.16.2010

This week I had perhaps one of the greatest moments of conscious personal growth then I have experienced in quite some time.  Even more ironically, it had occurred weeks before on a cognitive level; but the ‘ah-ha feeling’ of development hit me like a rush that made me realize how much I have missed it.

The past few months I have been challenged by the formation and early development of a staff, understanding campus and department culture, keeping up with reading and discussions within the classroom, and maintaining (truthfully, developing) a social and ‘personal’ life in a new place.  But these areas haven’t been the hardest part of my transition.

When I got started in my graduate experience, I felt ‘stuck’ almost immediately.  All of a sudden I was making professional decisions, second guessing how they fit within my professional life and my personal values, and wondering ‘what the process’ should be exploring these ideas.  I quietly became impatient and frustrated with how I could be expected to create such standards with so little information.  Looking back, it just came down to being overwhelmed, and hyper-aware of the intentionality in my decisions, and intending to make sure that I didn’t overstep boundaries or set up trends that would effect me negatively later in my experience.

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